MATCH REVIEW 17TH NOVEMBER!!
MATCH REVIEW 17TH NOVEMBER!!
Blessed be the day when they decided to just get Shay out of the promotion. Honestly they should have done the kayfabe injury sooner cause the less that idiot is in the show, it better it gets. Night started with some blah blah blah who the fuck cares, then they had Fragata and Co. do an aspirational segment for whatever reason, really don't understand. Anyway, with the boring storylines out of the way, we finally got to the meat of the episode.
1st Match: Musical Fucking Chairs honestly why do I even fucking bother with witty titles w/ The Tremors vs the Bird Brigade
It's kind of disappointing to see Fragata wasted in a gimme comedy match but at least both the Tremors and the Birds did put in some good work so I guess that at least for that, they can be forgiven. Anyway, the match if you didn't see it was basically a chair match but with the chairs only being legal as long as the music keeps playing: this is the sort of shit that would make old wrestlers shake their heads and complain about the sanctity of the Business(tm) but at least it isn't shit like THE INVISIBLE MAN which honestly, you might as well do improv comedy by that point. Anyway the Tremors got that little announcer lady as their music player and Fragata got one of his buddies from the CDC to play the guitar, Goose guy, can't remember his actual name.
Anyway, the match started kind of weak with Fragata flipping and flopping only to miss an easy splash, which is unusual for him, Max then sat on one of the chairs and did a pretty impressive chair control routine, while missing the blows from Fragata, before attempting to smash the chair into Fragata. Fragata missed the chair shot, then the music stopped, and both dropped their chairs, with Fragata hitting a wicked hurricanrana, which are his stables by now. The next exchange though was awesome, with Fragata getting out of a Death Valley Driver, and then Fragata springing from the ropes, hitting Don square on, it looked fucking incredible!
It was then Casuario's turn on the ring and there was a pretty neat double attack on Don. Anyway, some other things happened and by the end Fragata hit a wicked looking dropkick for the pin. Overall it was a fun match but honestly the winning team was a foregone conclusion and honestly Fragata should be used in better matches than this, 4/5.
2nd Match: A Queen Break w. Reina vs Cop Lady
There was some story segments before this but I didn't really care so I went to get a drink, something about Prodigy, not sure if they were referring to the band? Just confusing really, not sure why they are pushing the story angles when they are SOOOO boring and anyway the only thing that matters are the matches. Anyway it was all a boring build up for the match, where we had Reina Roja go against the Lady Cop, which I can't remember the name of, but she was good in the past matches so maybe she's to look out for.
Anyway the match started and Cop Lady got Reina immediately into a lock, which was a bit weird since she hadn't really worked any of the arms or legs before that, I like the enthusiams but even fucking Mourn knows that you need to work those arms before you get them into the hold (unless you are ZSJ, then do whatever you want). Reina managed to get out of that by using her goons (why do heels keep doing this shit, it's boring by now), but Cop Lady avoided the flying attack and managed to get a perfect sweep that just sent Reina to the mat. The leglock that followed was a fucking sight to behold, honestly it was locked in perfectly, fucking beautiful.
Reina manages to get out but is selling the injury well, but she takes the upper hand and does a pretty good chokeslams on Cop Lady: nice use of size advantage there. The entire match had good psychology honestly. It was kind of ruined when the glass tube came out, but even then it kind of added to the match rather than detract from it. The ending was basically Cop Lady getting her own back with the glass tube and then basically wrenching Reina's arm off her, which looked impressive. Anyway, the match was alright, but I think some of the inexperience showed, but honestly, a lot of potential, so I'm gonna rate it high on that alone, 4/5.
3rd Match: "Oh no! The match is too interesting, send Mr Vega$ to shit it up!" w/ D'Angelo vs Man Cop
Alright so I was actually fucking enjoying this match, the two wrestlers were well matched against each other and honestly they were both sending some fucking vicious strikes going each other's way. I really liked the bit where they were just exchanging strikes, it honestly felt like I was watching Poruresu, and the cartwheel spot was fucking awesome. But VPW couldn't leave well enough alone, so they decided to run in Mr Vega$ for whatever fucking reason. Honestly this would have rated high if it hadn't been for the interference: you know when you get when fake mobster goes in, just more fucking boring cheating, yeeeah that will make the crowd pop.
Anyway, there was some sort of bullshit where D'Angelo is mad that the match got interrupted, and then the man cop tries to run away only to be stopped by D. The match resets and it seems to be going well again, with a nasty DDT from Man Cop, only for predictably Mr Vega$ to interfere again by ringing the bell, which gives D'Angelo the advantage and he wins. Anyway, the match was totally fucking ruined by the intrusion, but at least it had a good thing going before Vega$ got in. 2/5.
4th Match: Why I hate Mourn (Part a fucking million) w/ IHOP vs The Shotgun Duo
Honestly I don't know why I keep reviewing this, you know what I think anyway so why fucking bother. Anyway, this was the revenge match and this time at least Mourn didn't get into her usual cheating, which is why I'm not gonna dock the match too easily. The start of the match was proper shit, like Mourn avoiding fighting and then trying to do the weakest lock I've ever seen, just fucking letting Anna get out of it instead of locking it in, embarrassing stuff. Willy was then tagged in to get an elbow strike in and salvage the match, which at least looked like it hit Mourn well, hopefully sending Mourn in real pain. After some more fighting, Mourn hits a really good hurricanrana, like it was perfect to the dot (don't say that i never have anything good to say about her!!!), there's a good back and forth following that, Willy hitting his german suplexes like a pro and then Mourn just managing to tag in Yukako.
A combination dropkick/bulldog follows, and Yukako follows up with a lot of pressure, but she gets cocky and the Two Smoking Barrels take the upper hand again. Pin attempt is made, broken up, with Mourn clotheslining Anna outside of the ring and then performing a spring-board frogsplash using the ropes to the outside, which looked pretty decent. Yukako and Willy in the ring then keep doing some strikes, before Willy gets a spinning side-slam on Yukako, but she no-sells for the god and gets Willy with a Sheer Heart Attack. Well, two. The first one is no-sold and the second one legit knocks out Willy, X was thrown and everything so didn't seem to be Kayfabe. Really fucking unprofessional from Yukako, honestly. I'm actually still gonna give this a 3/5 because honestly it was a pretty entertaining match apart from the start and the end, and it shows that Mourn can do interesting matches but is too fucking lazy to do it most of the time and instead relies on boring heel tricks. You can do better Mourn!
5th Match: World War III: Fantome vs Amadeus
Honestly this was probably the match for me, the entire thing was awesome and I really enjoyed seeing two veterans just go at it with only minimal interruptions from the cast. Both wrestlers took advantage of their arsenal, with Fantome doing loads of moonsaults and throws while Amadeus was always ready with a DDT, fucking awesome. The entire match psychology was there: Fantome had set up this throw where he side-slammed Amadeus then immediately went to the top rope for a splash. The best spot by Amadeus was this wicked looking top rope DDT which stood up Fantome for a couple of seconds: just sold beautifully, The ending was perfect, with Amadeus grabbing Fantome from the air and basically slamming him into the mat. Honestly both fighters were right on top of their game Also looks like Amadeus is getting a title shot from the Geriatric, which is never a bad thing: honestly this is what VPW could always be like if they got rid of the shitty wrestlers and equally shitty storylines. 5/5
6th Match: Mourn hits new depths of shit w. IHOP vs Girls in Black
This was exactly the opposite of the other match, and the contrast is fucking stark. Going from no cheating to extra spicy cheating but no DQ sucked major ass, and this match was basically a brawl where honestly I don't know why they even bothered to tag each other in and out, if not for the pinfalls which didn't even fucking occur.
Honestly to have this match as the main event is a fucking tragedy and I don't know what VPW was doing. I'm not gonna bother to explain everything that went wrong, but some of the major spots: Mourn tries the weakest looking powerbomb ever, had to be helped in order to even keep it up.The only other good spot was a double senton bomb on tables, but that was pretty much it, because then the match turned into amateur theatrics and they did a OH NO THE MASK IS CONTROLLING HER bullshit that was boring as fuck, honestly this was such a fucking disappointment that it left me with the sourest of notes at the end, although my idiot roommate seemed to love it (no accounting for taste I guess). 1/5, what a joke after the excellent match before it.
1st Match: Musical Fucking Chairs honestly why do I even fucking bother with witty titles w/ The Tremors vs the Bird Brigade
It's kind of disappointing to see Fragata wasted in a gimme comedy match but at least both the Tremors and the Birds did put in some good work so I guess that at least for that, they can be forgiven. Anyway, the match if you didn't see it was basically a chair match but with the chairs only being legal as long as the music keeps playing: this is the sort of shit that would make old wrestlers shake their heads and complain about the sanctity of the Business(tm) but at least it isn't shit like THE INVISIBLE MAN which honestly, you might as well do improv comedy by that point. Anyway the Tremors got that little announcer lady as their music player and Fragata got one of his buddies from the CDC to play the guitar, Goose guy, can't remember his actual name.
Anyway, the match started kind of weak with Fragata flipping and flopping only to miss an easy splash, which is unusual for him, Max then sat on one of the chairs and did a pretty impressive chair control routine, while missing the blows from Fragata, before attempting to smash the chair into Fragata. Fragata missed the chair shot, then the music stopped, and both dropped their chairs, with Fragata hitting a wicked hurricanrana, which are his stables by now. The next exchange though was awesome, with Fragata getting out of a Death Valley Driver, and then Fragata springing from the ropes, hitting Don square on, it looked fucking incredible!
It was then Casuario's turn on the ring and there was a pretty neat double attack on Don. Anyway, some other things happened and by the end Fragata hit a wicked looking dropkick for the pin. Overall it was a fun match but honestly the winning team was a foregone conclusion and honestly Fragata should be used in better matches than this, 4/5.
2nd Match: A Queen Break w. Reina vs Cop Lady
There was some story segments before this but I didn't really care so I went to get a drink, something about Prodigy, not sure if they were referring to the band? Just confusing really, not sure why they are pushing the story angles when they are SOOOO boring and anyway the only thing that matters are the matches. Anyway it was all a boring build up for the match, where we had Reina Roja go against the Lady Cop, which I can't remember the name of, but she was good in the past matches so maybe she's to look out for.
Anyway the match started and Cop Lady got Reina immediately into a lock, which was a bit weird since she hadn't really worked any of the arms or legs before that, I like the enthusiams but even fucking Mourn knows that you need to work those arms before you get them into the hold (unless you are ZSJ, then do whatever you want). Reina managed to get out of that by using her goons (why do heels keep doing this shit, it's boring by now), but Cop Lady avoided the flying attack and managed to get a perfect sweep that just sent Reina to the mat. The leglock that followed was a fucking sight to behold, honestly it was locked in perfectly, fucking beautiful.
Reina manages to get out but is selling the injury well, but she takes the upper hand and does a pretty good chokeslams on Cop Lady: nice use of size advantage there. The entire match had good psychology honestly. It was kind of ruined when the glass tube came out, but even then it kind of added to the match rather than detract from it. The ending was basically Cop Lady getting her own back with the glass tube and then basically wrenching Reina's arm off her, which looked impressive. Anyway, the match was alright, but I think some of the inexperience showed, but honestly, a lot of potential, so I'm gonna rate it high on that alone, 4/5.
3rd Match: "Oh no! The match is too interesting, send Mr Vega$ to shit it up!" w/ D'Angelo vs Man Cop
Alright so I was actually fucking enjoying this match, the two wrestlers were well matched against each other and honestly they were both sending some fucking vicious strikes going each other's way. I really liked the bit where they were just exchanging strikes, it honestly felt like I was watching Poruresu, and the cartwheel spot was fucking awesome. But VPW couldn't leave well enough alone, so they decided to run in Mr Vega$ for whatever fucking reason. Honestly this would have rated high if it hadn't been for the interference: you know when you get when fake mobster goes in, just more fucking boring cheating, yeeeah that will make the crowd pop.
Anyway, there was some sort of bullshit where D'Angelo is mad that the match got interrupted, and then the man cop tries to run away only to be stopped by D. The match resets and it seems to be going well again, with a nasty DDT from Man Cop, only for predictably Mr Vega$ to interfere again by ringing the bell, which gives D'Angelo the advantage and he wins. Anyway, the match was totally fucking ruined by the intrusion, but at least it had a good thing going before Vega$ got in. 2/5.
4th Match: Why I hate Mourn (Part a fucking million) w/ IHOP vs The Shotgun Duo
Honestly I don't know why I keep reviewing this, you know what I think anyway so why fucking bother. Anyway, this was the revenge match and this time at least Mourn didn't get into her usual cheating, which is why I'm not gonna dock the match too easily. The start of the match was proper shit, like Mourn avoiding fighting and then trying to do the weakest lock I've ever seen, just fucking letting Anna get out of it instead of locking it in, embarrassing stuff. Willy was then tagged in to get an elbow strike in and salvage the match, which at least looked like it hit Mourn well, hopefully sending Mourn in real pain. After some more fighting, Mourn hits a really good hurricanrana, like it was perfect to the dot (don't say that i never have anything good to say about her!!!), there's a good back and forth following that, Willy hitting his german suplexes like a pro and then Mourn just managing to tag in Yukako.
A combination dropkick/bulldog follows, and Yukako follows up with a lot of pressure, but she gets cocky and the Two Smoking Barrels take the upper hand again. Pin attempt is made, broken up, with Mourn clotheslining Anna outside of the ring and then performing a spring-board frogsplash using the ropes to the outside, which looked pretty decent. Yukako and Willy in the ring then keep doing some strikes, before Willy gets a spinning side-slam on Yukako, but she no-sells for the god and gets Willy with a Sheer Heart Attack. Well, two. The first one is no-sold and the second one legit knocks out Willy, X was thrown and everything so didn't seem to be Kayfabe. Really fucking unprofessional from Yukako, honestly. I'm actually still gonna give this a 3/5 because honestly it was a pretty entertaining match apart from the start and the end, and it shows that Mourn can do interesting matches but is too fucking lazy to do it most of the time and instead relies on boring heel tricks. You can do better Mourn!
5th Match: World War III: Fantome vs Amadeus
Honestly this was probably the match for me, the entire thing was awesome and I really enjoyed seeing two veterans just go at it with only minimal interruptions from the cast. Both wrestlers took advantage of their arsenal, with Fantome doing loads of moonsaults and throws while Amadeus was always ready with a DDT, fucking awesome. The entire match psychology was there: Fantome had set up this throw where he side-slammed Amadeus then immediately went to the top rope for a splash. The best spot by Amadeus was this wicked looking top rope DDT which stood up Fantome for a couple of seconds: just sold beautifully, The ending was perfect, with Amadeus grabbing Fantome from the air and basically slamming him into the mat. Honestly both fighters were right on top of their game Also looks like Amadeus is getting a title shot from the Geriatric, which is never a bad thing: honestly this is what VPW could always be like if they got rid of the shitty wrestlers and equally shitty storylines. 5/5
6th Match: Mourn hits new depths of shit w. IHOP vs Girls in Black
This was exactly the opposite of the other match, and the contrast is fucking stark. Going from no cheating to extra spicy cheating but no DQ sucked major ass, and this match was basically a brawl where honestly I don't know why they even bothered to tag each other in and out, if not for the pinfalls which didn't even fucking occur.
Honestly to have this match as the main event is a fucking tragedy and I don't know what VPW was doing. I'm not gonna bother to explain everything that went wrong, but some of the major spots: Mourn tries the weakest looking powerbomb ever, had to be helped in order to even keep it up.The only other good spot was a double senton bomb on tables, but that was pretty much it, because then the match turned into amateur theatrics and they did a OH NO THE MASK IS CONTROLLING HER bullshit that was boring as fuck, honestly this was such a fucking disappointment that it left me with the sourest of notes at the end, although my idiot roommate seemed to love it (no accounting for taste I guess). 1/5, what a joke after the excellent match before it.
I for one am very excited to see what happens with the Mourn character next. I think there's a good chance of dropping all those vicious and bad and brutal and chair and spoooooky things you hate so much and replacing them with more good, technical wrestling.
ReplyDeleteyes that's what I've been waiting for, Mourn to have a shitty face gimmick instead of a shitty heel gimmick. honestly if she does go no-cheating, she'll get exposed so badly lol
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