MATCH REVIEW 3RD NOVEMBER!!

MATCH REVIEW 3RD NOVEMBER!!

NO I WAS NOT PRESENT AT THE CONVENTION STOP ASKING ME!! Alright so VPW took a break and honestly it was good for them, they managed to poach some really good talent and basically set up a tag team league from scratch. Honestly at this point if you are still watching CAL, well, WHY?? It's shit now without Blake and Manchino and Nick still being awol, go watch literally anything else (including VPW lol). Anyway, back to the reviews!

1st Match: A literal car wreck of a match w/ The Mobsters vs the Keystone Kops

This match was basically started out with some really boring storytelling about the cops (a new tag team I think, I don't remember their names) coming in, but Vega$ wants to stop them and then of course it comes to blows. What followed is a pretty standard backyard match but then the lady cop get hit by a car and then it cuts to that fucking car crashing into the arena. So, okay, my focus is technical wrestling etc etc, I know, but holy smokes, shit like that is still impressive. Gotta hand it to the lady cop though cause even after that ordeal she put Vega$ in some quite painful looking holds, which is to be respected at least, it looked like she broke his arm but I think it's a kayfabe injury but we'll see. Honestly I'm not big into flash gimmick for matches and the match itself was kind of boring if not for the lady cop stealing the show. Gonna give it 4 out of 5 for trying hard, just put out more wrestling next time!!

2nd Match: Freedom vs the French w/ D'Angelo vs Pepe le Pew

This was a pretty by the numbers match (for VPW at least). Honestly both D and Fantome did good work on the ring, there was a lot of going around, with Fantome going for the high-flying finish at the end in order to gain an advantage on D, almost seeming to win until a mistake by the Frenchman, although the match still went to him. Just felt like a bit of a jobber match tbh, nothing was really created from it and it just seemed they used the match as a cool down for the first match. Gonna give it 3 out of 5 since it technically was not a bad match, just nothing exciting.

3rd Match: The Death of Shay by the Hero Baron Amadeus w/ THE BARON vs Jane vs Shay

Alright before any of you chucklefucks question it, I'm a 100% sure that this is some Kayfabe shit and that Shay is not in the hospital. Clue 1: They didn't cross the X. Clue 2: Baron, who's a fucking professional, let me tell you, continued with the match and didn't immediately start worrying about Shay. Clue 3: I've heard people say that Shay tweeted some shit after the injury and I'm almost sure that a dumbass like him would make that mistake, since he's honestly clueless in social media. Clue 4: They introduced some hot doctor alongside Shay and I'm pretty sure that's how he's gonna get fixed in record time. Anyway, the match. First ladder/money in the bank match for VPW near as I can tell. Started with them scrambling for the ladders and smacking them into each other and whatever, and Shay was his usual (bad) self and looked like a boy missing his parents in kindergarten. 

This was until the Baron powerbombed Shay into a ladder. Let me tell you, there was a cheer in my household when that happened, my housemate thought I was going crazy. Anyway, after Shay was BY GAWD BROKEN IN HALF, Baron went for the case, only for Jane to follow, causing the ladder to fall down on Shay (smaller, but still persistent shout from me). Even heard the crowd chanting "GET HIM OUT!" which honestly, I'm all for when it comes to Shay. Gonna give this a solid 4 out of 5 cause although the match was ruined by Shay's presence, it was improved by watching him getting destroyed by a FAR better wrestler.

4th Match: Failure to perform w/ Carwasher vs An Ex-Wrestler

Like honestly this started pretty good with some good psychology between Miley and the Carwasher (what a fucking horrible gimmick name, and yeah I know why it's the name, but it's still fucking stupid, hurrr hurrr he can lift cars to wash them, so fucking funny). Like they had Miley dancing all over the big immovable lunk and then they set up for the big spot and then, well, nothing. They stood around for like 10 seconds before finally someone got an idea of what to do and started the match once again, but honestly a couple of weak-looking holds and then a submission finish was fucking pathetic. Just looked like Miley had given up to be honest. Honestly she might be worse than Shay in execution, and that's saying a LOT! Although no where near as annoying. 1 out of 5 for a snore of a match.

5th Match: Actual wrestlers actually wrestling w/ The Birds vs Girls in Black

Honestly this match alone made the episode worth it for me. It was just classic Fragata and even Big Bird was looking spot on for the match, and the GiB were a good foil to them. Match started quickly with Fragata and Jane scrambling around to get some sort of advantage, with Jane smartly trying to bring things close so that the more agile Fragata couldn't use his main weapons: flippy shit. Jane then whipped Fragata into Bradley, so that she could hold him down and the two could apply a beatdown on him: honestly it really made sense and it showed that both of them had done their homework coming in.

When Big Bird came in, the dynamic changed as well, and you could see that Fragata and Big Bird had taught well about their partnership: the agile guy and big guy tag team dynamic is well established and kinda cliche by now, but both wrestlers managed to do it well: again, smart stuff from Fragata. Anyway, while Jane and Big Bird were fighting in the centre, Fragata got grabbed by Bradley outside but someone managed to flip out and take the advantage, it was honestly amazing to watch the sheer athleticism.

What followed was a series of tags and then an absolutely BONE-CRUNCHING combination by Big Bird and Fragata, a backstabber with a lariat, it looked brutal but they managed to pull it off safe. And after that, another absolutely bonkers backbreaker and knee to the face combination for the pin. Watch this match, honestly! 5 out of 5.

Only bit I was disappointed by was the fact that Fragata is gonna have a gimmick comedy match next week, would have loved to see him in more proper matches.

6th Match: It's not a home, it's a RETIREMENT COMMUNITY, MA! w/ Old Guy vs Reina

Honestly to call this match safe would be an understatement. Considering the matches that Cortez was pulling the last time VPW was on air, this match was so basic and standard anyone could have scripted it. Just your standard Cortez affair, although he remained on the ground a lot more than I usually expect from his matches, and Reina was serviceable but nothing amazing, using her goons several times once again. Cortez got his shitty spear in and that was that. Or at least, if it hadn't been for Baron to come in and ask for a match (as is his due), only for the geriatrics brigade (ie Elite Crew) to come and help him. Yeah, yeah, big pop, but kind of a disappointment for the first Cortez title defence. 2 out of 5.

7th Match: Mourn... Mourn never changes. w/ IHOP vs Two Smoking Barrels

My housemate was really excited about this match but I knew that it was just gonna be More Mourn Shit. And then he pointed out that her lackeys weren't coming in to help her this time, but this shit is like Mourn 101. Also before you ask I didn't bother replying to that troll pretending to be Mourn in the last review, STOP MESSAGING ME ABOUT IT!! Anyway, match started pretty standard with Mourn and Yukako getting some blows in early and trying to go for the pin, which I guess is a little bit of psychology and tactics in the ring, at least. The fireworks started up when Manchino was tagged in and was then suplexed INTO Mourn by Blake, which was honestly awesome. This was followed, however, by another Mourn Spot where she pretended to choke out Manchino while the referee wasn't looking: yawn.

There were a couple of submissions attempts at that point, with Mourn going for a rope assisted one (of course). At that point, IHOP finally managed a pretty nice looking spot with a couple of moonsaults on Blake, The pin doesn't go through, and Blake and Manchino take the upper hand with a wicked-looking flying clothesline, going for the pin and! Of course, one of the lackeys sneaked in and pulled the ref away, only for Legault to DQ IHOP. Honestly, I'm getting fucking tired of these shitty Mourn matches! 2 out of 5.