MATCH REVIEW 18TH AUGUST!!

MATCH REVIEW 18TH AUGUST!!

This was my first chance to see some VPW matches, so I dunno the storylines but my mate was filling me in on it so here it goes, I'm gonna rate this shit based on the pure spectacle cause I can't really rate it based on on-going fueds (DUUUUH) here it goes.

1st Match: Confusing Clusterfuck w/ Prisoner 46, Yukaku, Jane vs Aerol
I honestly did not understand what happened in this match. My mate told me that the face, Aerol, was facing three other wrestlers in a cage match, but this was his first time in the ring, and that if he won he would go on the big tournament (oh shit, yeah, this entire evening was basically a big knockout tournament quarterfinals). I told him "What the fuck" but his explanation made EVEN LESS sense. Like what happens if the other three win? Anyway, one of the wrestler was Prisoner 46 who had basically squashed pretty much every other opponent up until now (or so I was told), so the match proceeded as expected: a squash. 

Then though, Yukaku to help Aerol (BUT OF COURSE!!) and things were more even until Prisoner 46's manager attacked the GM of VPW, upon which her "sister" Jane, opened the cage and got out to help. And then Aerol also came out. And for some reason this meant that Aerol "won" the match?? What the fuck is this? This is some Russo-level shit, let me tell you. Entire match made no fucking sense, but I guess that at least Prisoner 46 squashing everyone was entertaining 2/5 stars

2nd Match: A Bunch of Idiots w/ Shay 2k, Reina Roja

This already started bad when Millenium Boy Wonder entered the ring with his shitty entrance music, but things went bad to worse when his opponent was probably one of the more boring heels in VPW (although not the most boring, as you'll soon see). The start of the match was pretty standard, with Boy Wonder doing his usual showoff shit and Reina trying to use her goons to her advantage 

The start of the match was alright, with some relatively good technical wrestling and back and forth, a solid 3 star effort especially for someone as annoying as Shay, but then the entire thing got radically worse once SPOOOKY DEATH GHOST entered. My mate was going "C'mon, she's good!", to which I gave the biggest roll-eye ever. She did a run in, and did her standard thing of being BRUTAL and VIOLENT instead of, you know, actually wrestling, and the match was fucking ruined from then on. 1/5 stars for a shitshow all around.

3rd Match: Let's make the first match entirely pointless w/ Aerol, Dust Jr

The match was pretty technical and quite fun to watch on that aspect, and Dust Jr is at least an accomplished wrestler, although I guess he's getting old as fuck. Some back and forth during the match showed that Aerol at least knew what he was doing, but eventually Dust Jr took the advantage and did his Mirage Rush, which is just a boring spear (why do wrestlers or fans think spears make good finishing moves?! I REALLY DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND). Anyway, the entire match made the first match entirely pointless because Aerol being in this match WAS THE ENTIRE FUCKING POINT OF THE FIRST MATCH. They might as well made Dust go straight through. 3/5 stars for at least some interesting in-ring stuff.

4th Match: An actual fucking match finally w/ Fragata, Jane

Well finally we got a proper match from start to finish. Fragata is from a fine lineage of famous Luchadors and he's obviously got the chops to follow the steps of his father and grandfather, so good on him for keeping the tradition going. Anyway, Jane was coming from the 1st match but wasn't any worse for wear and she did an extremely good job at showing some psychology in the match, going for the legs, trying to go for bit moves, all of it. Match was really back and forth and showcased the strength and weaknesses of both wrestler. The ending was pretty fucking exciting as well, so I give this one a solid 4/5 stars.

5th Match: Whoever wins, we lose w/ Prisoner 46, SPOOKY GHOST

I already knew that this was gonna be a shitshow because Mourn just fucking saps the life out of any match she's in, and of course it was a hardcore match to show her BRUTALITY and VICIOUSNESS. This is the EXACT SAME SHIT she did in RoV and it got so fucking boring so fucking past, so I really wanted to see her get squashed to hell as back by Prisoner 46, which is probably one of the more interesting wrestlers in the promotion. Anyway, the match proceeded like any shitty Mourn match goes (OH NO SHE GOT A CHAIR, OH NO SHE TOOK OUT SOME BRASS KNUCKLES) and the entire crew was boosting her to fuck and back like anything she was doing was impressive at all. Not a single legit wrestling move from Mourn the entire fucking match, but that's to be expected, leaving Prisoner 46 to carry the entire match on her shoulders, which she did an admirable job at least. Of course the idiotic Mourners were also present and SPOOKY GHOST couldn't help but point them out all the time.

Anyway Mourn was about to win cause of the brass knuckles I mentioned before and because for some reason all the promotions love to boost her up like fuck any chance they get, until the referee appeared to be one of Reina's goons and fortunately Prisoner 46 fucking won. Mourn picked up the microphone and I turned off the stream so that I didn't have to hear her talk for half an hour. 2/5 stars cause at least Prisoner 46 knew what she was doing.